Papa

Dad

Dear Dad,

I wanted to write you today and give you an update on the last half of the year. In my last letter, I wrote about my book called The Brown and White, a fictionalized memoir about my first year in high school at Mount Carmel. I actually did a radio interview and taped one for Catholic Television. Can you imagine that? I am an author and a publisher! Sadly, that does mean I am what most folks call successful today. Success is about money.

I published a book called Pilgrimage by Patrick McCaskey this year.  I know you were not much of a reader, I think Mom read for both of you, but I do think you would like this one. I think you would get a kick out of Pat, I know you thought highly of his grandfather, George Halas. 

At the beginning of each chapter in Pat's book, we give readers the skinny on various pilgrimage sites. Based on your interest in Catholic culture and saints, I think this would be on your bedroom night stand. I got some photos from a Dominican priest that we put in the book--I know how much you loved Dominicans--and of course Carmelites, and Franciscans, and others. You liked them all, Dad. The Pope is a Jesuit by the way Dad.  He did not teach at St. Ignatius where brother John went to school--if that's what you are thinking. 

Mom gave me some small booklets and a Missal that you had. I may not be the best Catholic, Dad, but you were the best Catholic Dad that ever lived. I am sure there is a spot for you up there, Dad, but it probably comes as a bit of a suprise--you always thought of yourself as a big sinner. At least in later years, Dad, I think your Confessions would have bored the priests. 

Our kids are in Japan, Switzerland, and Chicago right now. Our latest grandson is Ciaran. He is the son of Lizzie and Curt. Lizzie snuck in the Irish name on Curt, but Curt is artistic and likes it. Maybe it will turn out that Curt has some Irish blood in him--they test for that kind of thing now. We know Lizzie has quite a bit. Curt is a good man, Dad, regardless. 

Well Dad, people walk around and drive these days listening and watching their phones.  Yes, phones come with a screen these days and are tiny computers. It is the latest addiction. They smash into other cars while driving and you see people out to eat, sitting at tables with their eyse on their phones not talking to the person next to them. I know you  liked to talk to people Dad, so this kind of development would upset you. 

On the plus side, people seem to travel these days--they see the world.  Marianne has been to many exotic locations including Cuba and the Galapagos Islands. Ellen wants to live in Ireland--she's been there three times. I am not sure where I want to go. 

People here got a chance to cut their grass in December, if you can believe that! It was 60-degrees a few days ago. It's going down, down, down today.

Annie and Molly just had babies. Eric has one due this month. That's all for now. 

God bless, Dad. Include us in your prayers.  

Love, 

Your Favorite

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The Brown and White

Forty plus years in the making, The Brown and White is a fictionalized memoir that tells the story of Collin Callaghan's freshman year at a Chicago Catholic High School. Collin is a white boy who is living in turbulent times in a changing city. He clings to his neighborhood and his family as he heads out each day with his classmates on the Brown and White, the ancient school bus driven by free-spirited Willie. Memorable characters abound as this story unfolds. Collin's loveable family, especially his Irish Catholic policeman father and his Irish immigrant mother face life together. Collin and classmates blaze their own humorous and passionate trail through the late 1960s. A unique cast of terrific teachers are there to see the boys through. Laughs and life meet readers head on as they travel on the Brown and White.

Note: 47

Encouragement for Our Kids, Grandkids and Ourselves

Many years ago there were Civil Rights leaders who would go out and talk to kids about their value and tell them that they are as good as anyone else.  They usually included a line in their talks that they would ask the kids to repeat over and over again. 

I am sure it was a nice event for the kids, a kind or pep rally, but kids need so much more.  Often we fail as parents to get just the right balance.  We want our kids to grow up and be responsible--and we also want them to develop a healthy ego. 

Some kids are hard to manage and so you might keep after them over and over again. As a Dad, when your son misbehaves you have a few different strategies, but often you look at things in the short term and manage the symptoms. Kids come in endless varieties and there are many ways parents handle things. This post covers some things I've read and experienced, but everyone has to validate their own approach.  

From what I have read about boys and from my natural tendencies, fathers often don't consider the pyschologic issues of managing their boys, they just try to reinforce the "man-up" approach.  Don't misbehave and when things are challenging, man up. I suspect when you are a young Dad, you deal with things in a natural way.  As you have more kids (if yo do), you probably learn some skills from experience.  And when you are a grandparent, some things that might have been easy enough as a Dad can represent a cunundrum especially if you have a grandson or grandaughter who is challeging.  

For whatever reasons, Fathers can be more retrospective about raising daughters.  They seem to consider girls more complex, look at past experiences more carefully and they also assume there is more there that they do not understand--being a man and all. 

Again, we want our kids to grow up and be good people. We also want them to be happy. 

The experts talk about the need for kids to develop an emotional intelligence--a kind of toolkit that deals with frustrations, anger, and disappointment in a healthy way. Kids that have emotional intelligence are better equiped to deal with life.  Kids that are lacking, can often turn to violence and anti-social behaviors.  Based on my publishing experience in sports, I know Papa Bear George Halas had emotional intelligence--he comes to mind in this regard.  He was very competitive and as a coach he would be fired up even more than his players going into a game.  But regardless of the disappointment that might come his way, after getting some of the frustrations off his chest, he would put a smile on his face and say, "who do we play next." He got past it. We need to be competitive to succeed, but we don't need to be stuck in a competitive hell and drive ourselves towards bad behavior or poor sportsmanship.  

Of course, besides wanting our kids to behave themselves, we want them to grow up with self-confidence.  Self confidence is huge. Self confidence leads to success.  Kids who believe "they are somebody" are more likely to grow up to become somebody.  I remember reading about successful people and how they were raised by parents who loved them and always encouraged them. 

Moms can be very encouraging even if at times it seems like they are bragging.  Encouraging Moms today often have Facebook posts out there talking about their kids.  Sometimes their posts smack of false modesty (look how wrinkled Jimmy's shirt was when he was accepting his scholar of the year award.), but they are usually promoting the deeds of their kids to their friends. I don't know for sure, but I have to believe the Moms who share their kids achievements on Facebook are likely to encourage the behavior with their kids and praise them accordingly.  Moms seem to be better than Dads at promoting their sons achievements.  A Dads role is sometimes described as the driver behind kid's achievements.  They drive their kids to accomplish more and work harder. Some believe that Dads promote kids to be the best they can be. While Moms may appreciate their kids effort without all the strings attached.  

I am no expert, but I have had bunch of kids and now the grandkids are coming, so I am thinking about this a lot lately. 

Adults Need Encouragement as Well

Sometimes even when we don't grow up with great self esteem we can overcome that and put our nose to the grindstone and make some pretty remarkable achievements.  But if we are faced with disappointment later in life, that can be difficult to get past depending upon your support system. Often our work places in a changing technological world can shatter our selfesteem with layoffs and harassment. We have to lean back and remember those who offered support whenw we were kids (whether teachers, parents, etc.) and allow others in our lives to give their support as well.  As you read this today, think of your kids or grandkids who need your support, but also think of the adults in your life that could use a good "well done" as well.

Lawrence Norris is the author of The Brown and White and the publisher of Maddie Takes the Ice and The 10 Commandments of Baseball. 

The Rule of Saint Benedict and Sports and Faith

Patrick McCaskey 

"The Rule of  Saint Benedict has been a fundamental guide for monastic life for many centuries.   Saint Benedict lived around 500 AD and  Saint Benedict’s Rule has since served as a guide for those who wanted to live in community and in faith.  The term “ora et labora” (prayer and work) describes the Benedictine way in a nutshell.   Saint Benedict’s  Rule encourages community members to avoid idleness and directs them to spend their time in prayer, labor, and sacred reading.  The Rule advocates a balance in life that keeps people on task. "

"Of course, many Christians keep busy outside of monasteries.  We are not all meant to be monks, ministers, or other Religious, but we can forge a kind of life of prayer and labor.  Many of the best in sport have done just that.."

From: Patrick McCaskey's Sports and Faith: More Stories of the Devoted and the Devout.

Sports and Faith: More Stories of the Devoted and the Devout is the second book in Patrick McCaskey's inspired series on athletes, coaches, and administrators who lead exemplary lives. Sports and Faith Book 2 includes stories of current professionals like Jeremy Lin and Josh McCown, and legends like Stan the Man Musial and Bob Cousy. Spotlighted are teams such as Bob Ladouceur s De La Salle squad portrayed in the motion picture When the Game Stands Tall. Spend time with benevolent Tom Monaghan and faith-based institutions like Notre Dame, Ave Maria University, and Belmont Abbey College. The author dives into a few Bible stories and he reveals some McCaskey history. Humorous poems, which the author is famous for delivering, are included. Sports and Faith Book 2 takes on some sad developments the recent tragedy in Kabul where Dr. Jerry Umanos and John and Gary Gabel were killed in cold blood. All three died at the foot of the cross. Also examined is the Washington Illinois tornado and the people who remediated the suffering. Burke Masters (featured on cover), Matthew Lightner, and Grant Desme three promising athletes who decided on a role of lifetime service are spotlighted. McCaskey recalls the stories of those who strove to make the cut on and off the field.
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The Brown and White

Forty plus years in the making, The Brown and White is a fictionalized memoir that tells the story of Collin Callaghan's freshman year at a Chicago Catholic High School. Collin is a white boy who is living in turbulent times in a changing city. He clings to his neighborhood and his family as he heads out each day with his classmates on the Brown and White, the ancient school bus driven by free-spirited Willie. Memorable characters abound as this story unfolds. Collin's loveable family, especially his Irish Catholic policeman father and his Irish immigrant mother face life together. Collin and classmates blaze their own humorous and passionate trail through the late 1960s. A unique cast of terrific teachers are there to see the boys through. Laughs and life meet readers head on as they travel on the Brown and White.

Our Teachers Were Different!

Lawrence Norris

In the first week, we quickly learned about the real characters of the school: the teachers.  I cannot imagine there ever being a school with such a cast of unique and animated teachers.  Special care was taken to recruit only teachers who would stand out in a crowd and inspire young boys from many different backgrounds. Our cast would make the witches and other creatures who instruct at Harry Potter’s Hogwarts look dull.

Each teacher seemed quirky in a different way, but on the whole they were fascinating communicators and extraordinary people. We learned immediately that they were focused on learning and that we would either get on the stick or get the stick - it was our choice. While there were several teachers who were beginning to practice some of the more modern approaches to discipline, most of the teachers controlled the classes through sheer force of their personalities or intimidation. And no apologies were made for it.

The school had many jocks, many scholars, some scholar-athletes and a large number of somewhat slightly above average to average students.  Enrollment was kept relatively low at about 700.  When the teachers used intimidating tactics they probably figured they were dealing well with the diversity issue.  It did not  matter what color you were or what ethnic background you had, if you stepped out of line, “bam,”  you paid for it. Ironically, in the sixties, the bookshelves were full of best sellers on innovative educational approaches like open classrooms and self-directed learning.  But, if someone asked our teachers "Why Johnny Can't Read," they would have answered “because mommy and daddy and their teachers are too soft on them.” Our teachers were not going to make that mistake!

The school’s mission was established decades before my class ever saw the old brick buildings.  MSN  had a reputation for taking all kinds of  kids and making something out of them.  It was a “no child left behind” or in the case of problem students a “no child left with a behind” philosophy. Most educators today would say that the methods used were certainly primitive by modern standards.  Most MSM teachers had their own unique creative method of cruel and unusual punishment to foster discipline. It seemed to us that they dealt corporal punishment out unmercifully. But, for us, taking such medicine was a test of manhood that we were certainly willing to take. Like our dads, older brothers, and uncles, we wanted to make the grade more than anything else. We wanted to become men of Mount Saint Mary’s. The discipline methods were not just part of the school tradition; they were also a reason why parents were sending their kids to the school in the first place.  If a parent didn’t know their kids would face such methods, they hadn’t done their homework. 

Excerpt from: Lawrence Norris The Brown and White Copyright Sporting Chance Press.

Forty plus years in the making, The Brown and White is a fictionalized memoir that tells the story of Collin Callaghan's freshman year at a Chicago Catholic High School. Collin is a white boy who is living in turbulent times in a changing city. He clings to his neighborhood and his family as he heads out each day with his classmates on the Brown and White, the ancient school bus driven by free-spirited Willie. Memorable characters abound as this story unfolds. Collin's loveable family, especially his Irish Catholic policeman father and his Irish immigrant mother face life together. Collin and classmates blaze their own humorous and passionate trail through the late 1960s. A unique cast of terrific teachers are there to see the boys through. Laughs and life meet readers head on as they travel on the Brown and White.

Chicago South Side Kennedy Park and The Brown and White

Lawrence Norris

"One of the greatest things about Kennedy Park was the huge cement drinking fountain that was shaped like a birdbath that stood at attention on the northeast end of the park. It sent a healthy shot of cold water constantly into the air that served park patrons and everyone else who walked past the park on Western Avenue. The fountain was gigantic and round and the bubbler was as thick as a garden hose. No one could walk past the fountain without taking a drink. Even the biggest kid in the neighborhood could get his fill in about 20 seconds.  And it was cold wonderful Lake Michigan water.  

       The fountain also served as a meeting place for groups of guys and girls. As I glanced toward the fountain, I thought about a couple summers back. My buddy, Tom “the Pope” Adams posed a big question right there to Susie “the Matchmaker” O'Halloran in a boy-girl gathering on a warm summer evening. Tom took Susie to one side and asked in a hushed tone, “Can you find out if Renee Smith would consider hanging out.”  This move took a lot of guts since Tom was a stout pimply 5'5” and Rene was a sleek blond of 5'9".  Tom was my best friend and he had more guts than anyone at St. Sean’s. Although small, he would fight anyone at the drop of a hat so his stature among the guys was huge.  Tom was also unique in that he was the last white boy who moved out of St. Leonard’s parish, the parish my dad had grown up in... "

Excerpt from: Lawrence Norris The Brown and White Copyright Sporting Chance Press.

Forty plus years in the making, The Brown and White is a fictionalized memoir that tells the story of Collin Callaghan's freshman year at a Chicago Catholic High School. Collin is a white boy who is living in turbulent times in a changing city. He clings to his neighborhood and his family as he heads out each day with his classmates on the Brown and White, the ancient school bus driven by free-spirited Willie. Memorable characters abound as this story unfolds. Collin's loveable family, especially his Irish Catholic policeman father and his Irish immigrant mother face life together. Collin and classmates blaze their own humorous and passionate trail through the late 1960s. A unique cast of terrific teachers are there to see the boys through. Laughs and life meet readers head on as they travel on the Brown and White.

Skip the Leading This and That and Toss Out the Whopping, too!

I was researcing one of those now-common job titles, "Customer Success Manager," trying to figure out just what these people do for a living. And I found some research where people with this title  from a number of different companies talked about what they did.  But what was interesting is that all the people who had this job title worked for companies that were self-described "leading providers." It was unanimous. They didn't just work for marketing companies, sales companies, product and service providers--they were working for companies that were all leading providers--100%. 

I am often amazed at just how much American business copies from each other. I wondered how you might want to trump you job title by being a leading person in your craft at a leading company in your industry. 

"Hi, I am Stuart, the Leading Customer Success Manager from Temportie  Inc. the Leading provider of fast fusion foods in the  energy lossenges market."

It all sounds so stupid.

I remember as a college student stopping in to the a little restaturant that was in fact a double wide trailor just a short distance from the Missiouri River in a tiny town in Missiouri.  The restaurant was called the Whopping Big Cheeseburger Diner. It was late at night, but there was a big crowd of locals, probably hard-working men from the Rockwell Plant and other like businesses nearby. We were very hungry, but we were also foolish college students who needed to grow up a bit.

For some reason, we couldn't get over the fact the place had "whopping big" cheeseburgers.  We walked past a lot of  crowded tables and sat at the counter.  A waitress came over after a few minutes to take our order.  We could all see by the look on her face that the diner likely didn't have time for  students at this place--so she said in a loud voice, "what'll be boys, it's getting late so we need take your order right quick." The plates from the previous dinners who had the seats before us hadn't been removed yet. My friend Schmitty from Peoria was the first to order and he looked up and said, "I'll take a whopping big cheeseburger and a whopping big order of fries with a whopping big coke." Down on the dirty plate in front of Schmitty was a whole piece of bacon that the previous dinner had not eaten.  Schmitty picked it up and ate it and smiled at the waitress.

After each of us had placed a similar order--everything "whopping big," the waitress had enough of us and she threatened to throw us out of the restaurant if we said one more annoying word. 

We were hungry, we complied. But I learned a language lesson that night. 

A "leading provider" overused makes about as much sense as everything "whopping big" in a diner--it is tacky and doesn't fool anyone. If I was your Customer Success Manager and you were leading anything, I'd suggest that you drop it!

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The Brown and White

Forty plus years in the making, The Brown and White is a fictionalized memoir that tells the story of Collin Callaghan's freshman year at a Chicago Catholic High School. Collin is a white boy who is living in turbulent times in a changing city. He clings to his neighborhood and his family as he heads out each day with his classmates on the Brown and White, the ancient school bus driven by free-spirited Willie. Memorable characters abound as this story unfolds. Collin's loveable family, especially his Irish Catholic policeman father and his Irish immigrant mother face life together. Collin and classmates blaze their own humorous and passionate trail through the late 1960s. A unique cast of terrific teachers are there to see the boys through. Laughs and life meet readers head on as they travel on the Brown and White.

John R. Powers Motivated Me to Write The Brown and White

I am one of those Catholics who loves his faith and the culture surrounding it.  Being a good Catholic is not so easy and most of us do struggle.  But I think struggle, suffering, prayer and to a certain degree, laughter is what our faith and our lives are all about. 

Back in the day, John R. Powers was for many of us, the voice of Catholicism.  Powers wrote a number of books about Catholics that were funny and captured the times.  His  books brought a lot of us together at a very tough time. It was post Vatican II, Vietnam raged on, civil rights struggles were everywhere, and life was just changing too fast for a lot of people.  Powers books looked back a few years to a time that might not have been better, but a time that was in a lot of ways more innocent.  I think in reaction to his books, many of us Catholics felt more connected and we came to appreciate our past more.  John wrote The Last Catholic in America about his grade school days and he wrote Do Patent Leather Shoes Really Reflect Up about his high school days. He wrote other books as well, but these two are the ones most of us would rememeber. 

I was so taken by John and his stories that I took up writing my own Catholic book called The Brown and White (high school) and I have a grade school eBook called Callaghan Goes to St. Cajetan. 

Powers Last Catholic was a great read and when we got a copy at home, everyone read it within a few weeks.  When he published Patent Leather Shoes, it became a favorite again and a few years later a play was written based on the book. The Patent Leather Shoes went on and on for decades. It played in Chicago and other parts of the country as well.  I know several people who read Last Catholic and Patent Leather  every year.  I've read Last Catholic several times and listened to the recording of it in my car during the Christmas season.  

In Power's Last Catholic he writes about life in the Seven Holy Hills nieghborhood in Chicago and at St. Bastion's Grade  School.  One of the episodes from the book is an account of St. Bastion's Pastor, Fr. O'Reilly, and Garbage Lady Annie. Fr. O'Reilly is a larger than life take charge pompous pastor who is leading his parish to construct a new church on property that is adjacent to a bag lady and  garbage picker called Garbage Lady Annie.  Some parishioners believe the priest should back plans to destroy Annie's house--he doesn't and has his reasons. Powers shows Fr. O'Reilly in one light, yes funny, and then finishes the story off showing a heroic side of him and a heroic side of Gargage Annie at the same time. Powers characters act the way you might expect them sometimes and then display a different side.  And in many ways, that is Catholicism to me. The faithful has high asperations, often unmet in funny ways, but we understand our humanity as well. 

The Brown and White

In The Brown and White,  I go back to end of the 1960s and show another side of Catholic culture and our faith.